Wednesday, February 25, 2015

The Better Deal

     My beautiful bride and I sometimes like to play a game in which we look at couples and try to determine who got the better deal. It’s a game that’s based strictly on our subjective and superficial assessment of the relative attractiveness of the two people involved.  We do not consider personality or income or anything else that may change our cursory, snap judgment of who’s better looking.
     With some couples, the outcome is a tie. Neither is noticeably better looking than the other. But most of the time, there’s a clear winner. And most of the time, that winner is the male in the coupling. For reasons I have yet to understand, good-looking men don’t often hang out with ugly women, but good-looking women are inevitably in the company of an ugly man.
     OK. Perhaps ugly is too strong a word here. While a few of the people you meet may fit that special category, most are simply unattractive, mainly because of the choices they make with their clothing, their hair or their personal hygiene.  So let’s rephrase and say that attractive women are more likely to be with unattractive men than attractive men are to be with unattractive women. That’s the case, at least, in our completely unscientific and random people-watching game.
     And we don’t restrict the game to strangers. We think about the couples we know and make the same determination. And we sometimes include celebrities. For example, my wife would say that Amal Clooney got the better deal when she married George.  Not that Amal is bad-looking, by any measure. But, according to my wife, George Clooney is better looking than she is. In fact, she says, George is better looking than most people on the planet.
     That may be one of the reasons she fell for me. Because she loves Clooney, and George and I have a LOT in common. 
     We were born 12 days apart in May of 1961. 
     We both lived in Kentucky during our early years.
     We’re both fans of the Cincinnati Reds. 
     He made his television debut in 1978. I made my stage debut in 1978 -- appearing in our church Christmas play. 
     He has a home in Italy; I can find Italy on a map.
     We both married stunning women.
     The similarities go on and on.
     One difference, though, is that George ended up married to someone who is not quite as attractive as he is. I ended up marrying someone who is way, way, way more attractive than I’ll ever be. And, as often happens when we play our silly game,  I wonder what such a beauty sees in a goof like me. 
     And she's not just amazingly attractive. The smartest person I know is my wife. The sweetest person I know is my wife. The most beautiful person I have ever known is my wife. I clearly got the better deal. Then again, what man didn’t?